Life, Loss, and Inspiration

The Joy of Air
This breathtaking video, a 2014 Official Selection at the Wild and Scenic Film Festival by Fitz Cahall , “the Ira Glass of the outdoor industry” and director Bryan Smith of Reel Water Productions blew me away from the first moment I saw it. Even if it didn’t channel my son, Eric, for me in every way…even if the metaphor of big air and pushing through fear didn’t resonate with me on so many levels, literal and metaphoric…I’d still want to watch this over and over.
“Leave the ground beneath your feet, Rise up, your inner legend greet. A body in motion – Twisting, turning, churning, yearning – Apex found, heaven bound. But remember, what goes up must come down.”

Charlie Mackesy is a Northumberland artist whose work I’ve been following for a few years, which has resulted in his latest book, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse. Now a NYTimes bestseller, it’s been described as a “modern fable for all ages that explores life’s universal lessons.” I cannot recommend this book highly enough.

Brene Brown is a research professor who has “spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy. She’s the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers and describes herself this way:
“I believe that you have to walk through vulnerability to get to courage, therefore . . . embrace the suck. I try to be grateful every day and my motto right now is ‘Courage over comfort.’ I do NOT believe that cussing and praying are mutually exclusive. And, I absolutely believe that the passing lane is for passing only.”
Brene’s TED Talks on shame and vulnerability are a good way to get an idea of what she’s all about. She’s a woman who is changing the world, one heart at time. I highly recommend you check her out.

Glennon Doyle is the author of #1 New York Times bestsellers UNTAMED (a Reese’s Book Club selection) and LOVE WARRIOR (an Oprah’s Book Club selection),as well as the New York Times bestseller CARRY ON, WARRIOR. An activist and thought leader, Glennon is the founder and president of Together Rising, an all-women led nonprofit organization that has revolutionized grassroots philanthropy – raising over $25 Million for women, families, and children in crisis. She lives in Florida with her three children and her wife, Abby Wambach, a soccer legend, speaker, activist, and author of Wolfpack and NY Times bestselling Forward: A Memoir.
Glennon’s writing in Love Warrior taught me so much about how to talk about spiritual growth in the same real and raw way that we experience it, in a way that’s not at all preachy. She helped me see that I’m not so alone in my journey from stay-under-the-radar rule-follower to learning to trust my own inner voice.
Untamed is a gift to all of us. As Glennon asks “Who were you before the world told you who to be?” she takes us along on her own journey of transformation and helps us understand: we can do hard things, and the braver we are, the luckier we get.
My own advice is simple: Read it. You’ll see.

Dr. Edith Eva Eger survived Auschwitz to become an eminent psychologist. She explores how we can be imprisoned in our own minds and shows us how to find the key to freedom. In The Choice, she helps us see how we each have the choice to hold onto what has happened to us or to forgive others and, most importantly, forgive ourselves.
In Oprah’s words: “The Choice is a reminder of what courage looks like in the worst of times and that we all have the ability to pay attention to what we’ve lost, or to pay attention to what we still have.”
Dr. Eger’s experiences during the Holocaust are horrific; her path to transforming what could have broken her into wisdom and empathy that she has used to help others find what lies within them is exquisitely beautiful and has vast implications for the way we view our own personal traumas and tragedies.

Megan Devine‘s website, www.refugeingrief.com, is a wonder of comfort and understanding and wisdom for those who are grieving and for those who love someone who is grieving (so pretty much all of us). She says, on her site and in her wonderful book, It’s OK That You’re Not OK, what most of us either do not yet understand about grief or understand all too well, but cannot express to those around us. If you’ve ever wanted to say or do the right thing in the midst of tragedy and loss but couldn’t find the words or actions to fit, this is the resource for you.

In 1994, I was the mother of three and a returning college student. Driving the hour home one afternoon and listening to WAMC, our local NPR affiliate, I heard about a new book, Motherless Daughters, written by Hope Edelman. When I arrived in our small upstate New York village, I drove directly to the independent bookstore and, through tears, devoured this volume, finding myself on every page, even in stories of loss that were vastly different from my own. In my 60s now, I’m aware that being without a mother is not as unusual as it was when I was 12, or 20, or even 39, when I first discovered this book. Yet there is a thread that ties us all together, those of us who have experienced motherloss. Hope Edelman has woven this thread through this book and her subsequent volumes, Letters from Motherless Daughters and Motherless Mothers, gifts to all of us who have had to say goodbye to our mothers, especially far sooner than most.
From Amazon: Although a mother’s mortality is inevitable, no book has discussed the profound lasting and far reaching effects of this loss until Motherless Daughters, which became an instant classic. More than twenty years later, it is still the go-to book that women of all ages look to for comfort, help, and understanding when their mother dies. Building on interviews with hundreds of mother loss survivors, Edelman’s personal story of losing her mother, and recent research in grief and psychology, Motherless Daughters reveals the shared experiences and core identity issues of motherless women.

(From her website): Claire Bidwell Smith is an internationally renowned author, speaker, and grief expert. She is the author of three books of nonfiction: The Rules of Inheritance (Penguin, 2012), After This: When Life Is Over Where Do We Go? (Penguin, 2015) and Anxiety: The Missing Stage of Grief (Da Capo, 2018).
I’ve only recently discovered Claire’s work. Having lost so many of my own loved ones, After This, an open-minded exploration of what happens when we die, really spoke to me. Her website tells us that, “Claire deeply loves her work and seeks to further the conversation about death in order to help our culture reach a healthier understanding of how to move through grief.” She adds a much-needed voice to the conversation about grief and finding meaning in our lives.

“Part of the job of being human is just to try to spread light, at whatever level you can do it. “

A prolific Canadian artist whose work has spanned decades, Bruce Cockburn’s music features a wide range of styles, from folk to jazz-influenced rock. Lyrical topics cover topics such as human rights, environmental issues, politics and spirituality.
Many of Bruce’s songs, including “All the Diamonds,” ‘The Gift,” “Festival of Friends,” “Closer to the Light,” “Pacing the Cage,” “Dialogue With the Devil,” “Dweller by a Dark Stream,” “Joy Will Find a Way,” “Life Will Open,” “One Day I Walk,” “Fascist Architecture,” and too many others to count provided a road map for my spiritual journey and kept me focused on love and the good in the world when the way seemed dark and the path all but disappeared. Learn more about Bruce at http://www.brucecockburn.com and https://cockburnproject.net

In the laughing times we know we are lucky
In the quiet times we know that we are blessed
-“Arrival”

Dar Williams has been described as “a major force on the New England folk scene…who writes folk songs from a unique, often insightful perspective and whose songwriting and performing style have been compared to those of Joni Mitchell and Joan Baez.
From earlier songs like the 1990s’ “Alleluia,” “You’re Aging Well,” and “Arrival,” to the 2000s’ “The Mercy of the Fallen,” “The Beauty of the Rain,” “Spring Street,” and “The One Who Knows,”and “It Happens Every Day,” to “I Have Been Around the World” and so many more, Dar’s take on the world has held up over time for me and continues to sustain and enlighten me today.

I want you to take up all of my time
I want you because you’re funny and kind
And we’ll be easy from now on
–“Easy People”

“On first listen, some might glibly categorize this acoustic folk trio-turned-modern rock quintet as Alanis fronts the Indigo Girls. But listen to [the Nields] twice and you’ll start to catch the twists in the tales, the quirks and ironies that make every song a short story. And then you’ll be hooked.”
-SPIN Magazine
I first fell in love with The Nields when they were a quintet in the 90’s and have remained a faithful devotee through life’s twists and turns…theirs and my own. Heartbreakers like “I’ll Meet You in the Sky” (another too-perfect fit for me) and “The Hush Before the Heartbreak”; beautiful love songs like “Easy People” (our wedding song) and “One Hundred Names”; songs that make me smile and lift my mood like “Friday at the Circle K” and May Day Cafe”; and so many other gorgeous songs never fail to speak to me about all of the things that make life challenging and eye-opening and meaningful. Nerissa is also a talented writer.

The combination of exquisite harmonies and emotional lyrics (with a smattering of slapstick humor) creates the alchemy that attracts me every time and drew me to Girlyman back in the early 2000’s (with Doris Muramatsu, Nate Borofsky, and Ty as founding members, joined later by JJ Jones). Countless songs, including “On the Air,” “Superior,” “Long Time Gone,” and the heartbreaking, way-too-fitting “Say Goodbye” will never get old for me.